Whoa!

Where have I been?

Seriously.

Okay, I’m still sick, but I’m like, a content sick.  Being chronically ill sorta forces you to go through the stages of grief, curiously enough.

First, I was in denial.  No, I’m not sick.  I eat tons of veggies, lean protein, whole grains!  How can I, the model vegetarian, be sick?

Then there was, of course, the anger.  I was — and still am, occasionally — livid at my body and even at God for putting me through this.  Why me?  What have I done to deserve this?

Then bargaining.  Okay, I’ll give up soy.  Okay, dairy.  Now gluten.  Nightshades?  C’mon body: I’ll do anything!  Just make me well!

Then the depression struck.  I cried.  A lot.  And I sat on the couch, eating too much chocolate and peanut butter, and only ventured out of the house for doctor’s appointments and work.

And now?  Acceptance.

I’m sick.  Now to get better!  Easier said than done, but I’m determined to do everything I have to in order to properly heal my body.  I have an appointment with a social worker in a couple weeks, and she’s going to help me get insurance.  Then, a couple weeks after that, hopefully they’ll start some tests for me.

Gotta keep my chin up, right?

Today, my appetite has been through the roof, but it was definitely warranted.

First!  Return of the salads!  (Can you tell I’m excited by this?)

My lunch (more on that in a few) held me over an amazing seven hours.  That’s including four insane hours of yard work.

When I came in, I immediately hopped into the shower, scrubbed off about ten pounds of grime and dirt, whipped up a quick dinner for Amor (going seven hours without eating, for him, is no big — for me?  it’s epic, yo), then threw myself together the largest salad the world has ever seen.

Oh, how I missed you, my beloved salad!

I stopped eating salads there for a while.

Without nightshades, they just weren’t fun.

But now, they’re back — I still have awful edema, but I haven’t noticed any improvement after making dietary changes (taking out eggs, taking out legumes, taking out nightshades — still sick, so adding them back).

And salads are yummy again!  This one contained an entire head of romaine, half of a large tomato, a crimini mushroom, a cup of peas, tons of steamed green beans, half an avocado, two or three huge blobs of hummus, and a generous splash of hot sauce.

Ate. It. Up.

Two ripe, juicy plums.

Since I had done four hours of intense yard work and went an entire seven hours without eating, my appetite caught up with me with a vengeance.

For the record, I also ate two rice cakes smeared with tons of applesauce and peanut flour (higher fat, not that low-fat rubbish) as I sat down to type this.

I inhaled two plums, then went into the kitchen for more.

Peanut Butter Pandas and Chocolate Koala Krisp, shoved into my mouth by the fistful.

As I prepared another snack of dates stuffed with peanut butter and dark chocolate, I ate a few handfuls of cereal.

Nothing tastes better than delicious, filling food after working all day, that’s for darn sure.

I love this chocolate forever and ever.

Okay, funny thing about this chocolate.

I really need to do a post called, “A Bajillion and One Reasons I Love Amor.”  While we were at the natural food store, I spotted this chocolate on the shelf, picked it up, and pined for it.

Then I remarked that I didn’t need any more chocolate, and put it back on the shelf.  Without missing a beat, Amor said, “Yes, you do,” plucked it off the shelf, and threw it in the cart.  I love this man.

Then, I ate a piece, enjoyed it…then promptly forgot about it.  I found it tonight while desperately scrounging up some chocolate.  It was hiding under a box of baking supplies, obviously hiding in wait for a day that I truly needed it.

That was tonight, clearly.

Dates + peanut butter + chocolate = match made in Heaven

After I snapped this awful-no-good-very-bad picture, I threw these dates into the microwave for about fifteen seconds.

I let them cool for about a minute, and then enjoyed every single drippy, melty bite.

My shirt enjoyed it, too.  Oops, sorry, Amor.  Was that your shirt?  My bad.

More chocolate was consumed, of course.

Okay!  Backtracking now.

Breakfast.

Spiced cooked apples, peanut butter, and creamy buckwheat groats.

Breakfast may be a new favorite, but the jury’s still out.

While they deliberate, I’ll share the details of what I had for breakfast.

I bought some raw buckwheat groats at the store when I had stocked up on my kasha, but after googling it, I found that some people didn’t like them, claiming that they had a bitter taste.

Since I’m getting a wee bit burnt out on kasha, I decided I might as well try something new.  If I don’t like these untoasted groats, I can always have a bowl of cereal, right?

Could be my new favorite hot cereal, this.

Okay, first off, raw buckwheat groats take longer than kasha to cook.

These took fifteen minutes, about the same as quinoa.

However, they were far more voluminous than quinoa, but not as fluffy as kasha.  The taste, however, was fantastic.  No bitterness whatsoever.  It actually tasted mild and sweet, like oats!

I’m thrilled!  After being oatless for several months, I may have found a suitable replacement for my favorite breakfast staple.

I cooked my groats with a cup of water, vanilla, cinnamon, one whole egg, whisked in some almond milk, then topped it with spiced apples (cooked with a teaspoon of cornstarch, to thicken it like a pie filling) and two tablespoons of peanut butter (turned onto a sauce, with almond milk, and a bit of nuking to get the right consistency.)

I know what I’m having for breakfast again soon!

Okay, now here’s what I’m all excited about, guys.

Lunch.

Oh, boy: lunch.

What is this?

I recently contacted Nogurt, a company that produces a vegan, soy-free, dairy-free, nut-free, and gluten free probiotic yogurt alternative, and expressed interest in their product.

They replied back quickly, and generously offered to send me a few flavors to try.

This is insanely perfect timing, especially with my doctor recommending me to start taking probiotics to restore balance in my tummy.

Well, those samples arrived today.  (Just to clarify, these are free samples given to me from Nogurt, and my review of them is merely my own opinion of them.  There — hopefully I haven’t incurred the wrath of the FCC.)

Wooks: What is it? Oso: Can I eat it?

I immediately tore open the package.

Their arrival couldn’t have been better — they arrived a few minutes before my typical lunch time, so I was more than ready to try one.

Nogurt was extremely generous, and sent me four samples to try out.

Thank you, Nogurt! 😀

Unfortuntely, the pomegranate one had asplode in transit, and I had to throw it out.

However, being the weirdo that I am, I smelled it before tossing it, and it smelled delicious.  If I were slightly less OCD, I would’ve ate it anyway — I almost did, thought, but prudence won out for the time being.

However, that left me with two chocolate and a blueberry to enjoy.

Want to guess which one I went for?

Chocolate, of course!

Psh, chocolate, of course!

No doubt, ever, of that.

Check out the amazing nutritional stats:

Short, simple ingredient list? Check.

As you can see, it doesn’t have a lengthy ingredient list full of weird gums and stabilizers.

This is awesome for me, since I’m very sensitive to gums.  I tried another brand of coconut milk kefir once, if you recall, and had to give it away because all the stabilizers they put in it tore my poor tummy to pieces.

Nogurt doesn’t have any weird stuff in it, which is like, uber-bonus points to me.

Talk about dedication!

I also liked that it’s sweetened with cassava syrup and banana puree.

Anyway, I’m rambling.  I made a long list of my initial thoughts of Nogurt, which I’ll share with you guys tomorrow.

The question is, how did it taste?

Chocolate Nogurt.

As you can see, Nogurt is not yogurt.

The texture is more like kefir than yogurt, which I am fine with.  You’ll see in a moment how I put it to use.

The taste was, in my own opinion, very good.  Delicious, even.

Here’s why I liked it: it was sweet, but not too sweet.  Yes, it has 9 grams of sugar per serving, but as you can see, much of that sugar is probably from banana puree.  I also could taste the banana, but it was very mild and faint.  However, I love the combination of chocolate and banana, so that was not a problem for me.

I also liked that it had a strong chocolate flavor — it wasn’t just sugar with a hint of chocolate, which you might find with other products.

Another thing: it wasn’t tart.  It didn’t taste like yogurt — it was almost like a lightly sweetened chocolate-banana pudding, with emphasis on the chocolate.

I ate about half of it, liking it more and more with each bite, before I realized I had better incorporate it into my lunch lest I spoil my appetite.

Oh, I love dessert for lunch.

Since I wanted my lunch to complement the chocoatey-banananess of the Nogurt, I went ahead and prepared a quick microwave muffin.

I threw together 3 tbs peanut flour, 2 tbs cocoa, 1/3 cup applesauce, 1/4 tsp baking powder, and an egg, then nuked it for about two minutes.

I sliced it up, then layered it onto the bottom of a bowl.

The muffin soaked up the Nogurt like a yummy chocolate sponge.

I topped it with a small banana, sliced, then drizzled the rest of my Nogurt all over it.

I topped it off with about a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter sauce.

Dude.

This rocked, seriously.  The muffin soaked up the Nogurt, and each bite was a chocolate-peanut-butter-banana explosion in my mouth.

And, like I said, I ate this at 2:30 and didn’t get around to eating dinner until 9:30, and this in including four hours of hard manual labor in the yard.  No sugar crash or anything.  Score!

Melty, drippy, delicious, sweet yumminess.

I can’t wait to try the blueberry one!

The other chocolate Nogurt is in the freezer, by the way.  I have evil plans of running it through my food processor with a banana and seeing if I can’t make a wicked banana soft serve out of it.

Okay, so I’m rapidly approaching 2000 words here, and haven’t really talked about what I’d like to do with thisere blog.

I know this sounds selfish, but I’d like to make this blog more about me, if you guys can dig that.

I felt guilty for being sick, which I think is not entirely atypical of many people.  I worried about dragging you down, but you guys rock.

Thank you, each and every one of you, for the warm and kind comments you left on my last post. I smiled as I read each one of them, and felt so cared for and loved!  You guys are awesome!

But yes, I’d like to personalize this blog.  The fact is, you guys know virtually nothing about me, and I think I’d be more interested in sharing myself with you guys.

Is there anything you’d like to know about me? Or am I being a total narcissist?  Feel free to hit up my FAQ page and ask/tell me about stuff you’d like to see me talk about on this blog.

For starters, if you guys are cool with it, I want to talk a bit more about how I recovered from my ED (binge eating disorder).

I’d also like to talk about any discoveries I make about myself as I journey forth to heal my sick body.  For instance, I think I may have figured out one major factor in why I’m so sick: low stomach acid.  It’s just a hypothesis, though, and I can’t wait until the doctors start testing me.

I’m also perhaps going to reduce my posts to twice a day: perhaps a quick morning post, if my breakfast so fancies me, then a nighttime post to highlight my lunch and dinner.

I need to figure out a way to streamline commenting, too.  It takes me like, two hours each day to comment, because I actually read everyone’s blog before commenting.  I’m not part of the tl;dr crowd.

How do you budget your time for blogging/commenting?

Anyway.  It’s late — after 1 am, and I work tomorrow.  Today.  Yikes.

I’ll be up early tomorrow to catch up on you guys.  I missed you!  All of you! ❤

Thanks for reading!  And thanks for being so awesome!

❤ Kaz

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