Tonight, I was struck by more random cravings.

I wanted “burgers” but I did not want fries.  And I most certainly did not want vegetables.

Seeing as I had partaken in absolutely no greens up until this point, that was unacceptable.  Yet, the thought of ketchup gagged me and I couldn’t stomach the thought of any more broccoli.

But, I could do a smoothie.  I can always do a smoothie.

Pre-dinner snackage of rice cake with peanut flour/peanut butter.

Before dinner, I enjoyed a rice cake with my much-cherished peanut butter and a couple spoonfuls of peanut flour.

This held me over nicely until about 8:30, when I started to feel a bit peckish.

Since I have no idea how to make veggie burgers, I threw in two cups of my adzuki beans (the last of them, woe betide me!), an egg, two Lundberg brown rice cakes, some cumin, paprika, chili powder, and a huge glob of salsa into a mixing bowl and smashed away.

Enjoyed a couple of these between chores. Love them!

They were watery and goopy.

I can’t make veggie burgers for the life of me, okay?

Undaunted, I sprayed my pan with olive oil and shaped amorphous pancake-blobs of bean patty onto them.

Evidently, I did not spray it enough, because they stuck something awful.

Barbecue sauce redeem these.

I ate about two of them from a batch of six.

I say “about two” because they fell apart and crumbled into oblivion.

Satisfying, at least, not too shabby.

For my veggies, I whipped up a smoothie with whatever produce I had left in the fridge.

Pretty good, especially with the blueberries and organic cornflakes.

I threw in a head of romaine, 1/3 cup of orange juice, one whole orange and one whole kiwi, a dozen-odd frozen cherries, and two scoops of brown rice protein powder.

I topped it with a huge handful of cornflakes and frozen blueberries.

The flavors actually worked really well, but the citric acid killed my mouth.

Anyway, on a more glum note, when will this stupid water retention go away?  I was almost normal a couple days ago, but I have no idea what I did right to bring me back to it.

I just weighed myself, and I want to cry.  I know it’s water weight — at least, I think it is, since I had shed so much of it a few days ago before it all piled back on (I had about two-to-three days of normalcy), but it still makes me feel miserable to have nothing fit, to know I’m not binging or overeating, and to still watch the scale constantly creep up.  My sleep is suffering because I’m up all hours of the night shedding water, and I wake up parched and headachy (when I get up to go pee, I feel lightheaded and have to chug more water before heading back to bed) and the next day, the cycle starts all over again.  But sheesh, an entire bloody gallon of water?


I must be patient, but I feel hopeless, betrayed by my body, and out of control.

I read that it takes two weeks to a month for the body to adjust after something like this, but I want results now.  (Yes, I’m being a brat.)

Sorry for being a downer, but my body hurts.

Do you ever have days where you want nothing but sweets and carbs? Yep, that’s me tonight.

Thanks for reading!

❤ Kaz