Tonight has been such an emotional roller coaster, but I have to say, despite what I’m struggling with, I am the world’s luckiest woman.

Basically, for the sake of my health, I had been unwittingly poisoning myself, and I’m 99% sure I’ve figured out what’s been causing the unexplained edema.

However, before I launch into that, I have to brag about how awesome Amor is.

Roasted broccoli and cauliflower -- yum!

He came home from work tonight with a huge Costco haul.

I was sitting on the couch, phone glued to my ears, as I was venting to my sister about the miserable news I had just learned about my health.

I glanced up to see Amor parade though the living room, struggling with huge bags of granola and random nostrums.

I figured that was it, and didn’t volunteer to help him carry any of the stuff in.  I’m awful, I know.

Large bowl of red and green grapes.

Then he strode through the living room with a huge carton of cherries and peaches and some cola for himself.  I hung up the phone, and rose, asking him if he needed anything else carried in.

“Nope,” he replied. “But I think you should change the laundry.”

The buzzer on the dryer sounded then, and I raised an eyebrow at him. “Sure, but it can wait a minute.”

“No,” he insisted. “I think you should change the laundry now.”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

Ramekin full of dark chocolate meltaways. I love these!

I stepped out into the garage, where we keep our washer and our dryer, and sitting on the dryer was a double-pack of Kirkland Organic Peanut Butter.

I didn’t ask.  I didn’t remind him.  But he remembered, and stocked up on my favorite peanut butter, just because.

Now, is that love or what?  Who needs flowers when you have a man who knows when you’re feeling down and buys your favorite food for you without provocation?

Yay! So glad to have this peanut butter back in my life.

Of course, I tore into it right away and incorporated it into my dinner.

I roasted a pan of cauliflower and broccoli and dipped it into ketchup and mustard.  I slathered up two rice cakes with my yummy peanut butter, and enjoyed a dish of dark chocolate meltaways on the side.  Perfect comfort food for a stressful afternoon.

Okay, long story short, when I was googling adzuki beans earlier, I stumbled upon a link for soybeans.  In it, it included a list of foods high in phytoestrogens.

After stirring the peanut butter, you bet I licked the spoon.

I am extremely sensitive to phytoestrogens, which is why I stopped eating soy.

[Warning!  TMI alert!  Stop reading if talk about womanly stuff grosses you out.]

When I was eating soy, my skin was breaking out, I was constantly bloated, my moods were swinging wildly, and out of nowhere, my cycle went out of whack.

Suddenly, the same thing was happening again.  I was suffering from water retention in specific locations (thighs and chest, specifically), I was tired all the time, and my cycle started early and wouldn’t cease.  Plus, I was depressed, and crying over the most random things.

Two rice cakes with a thick slathering of peanut butter. Delish!

Today, I read that flax seeds have an extremely high amount of phytoestrogens, even more so than soy.

How come I didn’t know this?  In every single article I had read up until this point, all it told me was how awesome flax is and how high in omega fatty acids it was.

Never once did I see that it was so high in phytoestrogens.  This is my fault for not properly researching something before using it, but it never occurred to me that some food that I eat for my health would be making me sick!

Every single thing I’ve been told to eat, as a vegetarian, because it was “good for me” has made me sick: dairy, soy, whole wheat, gluten…and now flax.

I’m terrified that I’ll have to go back to eating meat.  I’ve already given myself “permission” to do so, but the thought of eating it makes me extremely nauseous.

I’ll cross that bridge when I get there, I suppose.

For now, I’m going to stop eating the flax, and see if my cycle doesn’t repair itself and the edema doesn’t go away on its own.

Have you ever eating something that masqueraded as health food only to find out later it wasn’t? I’m not saying flax is bad for you, or for anyone else for that matter, but it looks like it is harmful to me.

Thanks for reading!

❤ Kaz