Hey!  Howzit going?

Good?  Good.

(By the way, saying that just feels cheesy these days.  Somebody please reassure me that I’m not totally dorktastic when I ask how you’re doing, because, y’know, I really do care.)

51 minutes.

That’s how long it took me to finish my salad today.

To say I was feelin’ the veggies today was an understatement.

If you're stockpiling for the end of the world, buy a different brand. These, it would seem, will expire at the same time.

And felt them I did.

I felt them for the half hour it took to chop them.

I felt them in my mouth as I chewed relentlessly for the better half of an hour.

And now I feel them in my tummy, sitting happily in there and blissfully unaware that they’re about to be bathed in stomach acid and become converted into fuel for my body.

World's Largest Salad

This salad, which I estimate weighed approximately just over two pounds, contained the following:

1 head of romaine

3 cups of red leaf lettuce

1/2 green bell pepper

1 whole tomato

2 large crimini mushrooms

2 tbs cilantro

1 cup of red kidney beans

2 tbs lime juice

3/4 of a whole avocado

And who knows what else?  If it was in my fridge and not wriggling, I threw it in.

Not my best salad, but the sheer volume of it more than makes up for it.

Actually, in retrospect, I almost did throw in a wriggler.

As I inspected my romaine, I saw a tiny little spider crawling over one of the leaves.

Say what?

That was, for sure, a first for me.  I’d found dead bugs curled up in my lettuce leaves, but I had never before found a live one.

Rest assured, I had thoroughly spider-proofed this salad.

I was also very impressed with his fortitude, as I had bought this head of lettuce not this past Wednesday, but the Wednesday before that.

He had been chillin’ in my fridge for over a week and a half.

Since I considered him to be an epic survivor, I scooped him up and threw him out the sliding-glass door into the sweltering 63-degree Fahrenheit heat.  He probably vanished in a puff of ash as soon as his little body touched the scalding hot, shaded patio pavement.

Totally hit the spot, though. Yum.

Hopefully there were no other lurkers hiding out in my lunch, though, or I got an unexpected protein boost.

While the salad was pretty spiffy, it was missing something…no idea what, though.  What do you like in your salads?

After I ate my salad, I wandered back into the kitchen to find little Osito sitting on the dining room table.  That is not allowed, so when he saw me, he jumped down onto the floor.

My body was screaming for veggies, and this salad was the answer.

However, he was licking his lips as he darted off.

The dining room table lends direct access to the kitchen counter, and the only thing on the counter was a half a lime and the discarded rinds of an avocado.

I have no idea what he got into, but I’m guessing the siren song of the avocado was too much to resist?

It was either that, or the lime.  Little sourpuss.  (Because he was a cat, and he may have eaten the lime?  Get it?  Oh, nevermind.)

Even after that huge salad, I still had room for dessert.

As expected, after I polished off all two-plus pounds of salad, my sweet tooth kicked in.

Yesterday, I had no veggies, and very little fruit.

Today, that’s all I want.  The body is smart, and balances itself out.  Nifty, right?

This pear was perfectly ripe and juicy, and I enjoyed every bite.

Oh, what is this? Is it for me?

But, not until Oso could approve it for me.

Yep, my little helper, hard at work, doing quality-control checks of everything I consume to make sure it’s fit for human consumption.

Evidently, this pear failed.

Pear? No: TOY! Attack! Destroy!

And if you think my windowsills are pretty ganky, you ought to know that Oso batted my pear onto the floor, right next to the litter box.

You also ought to know that, yep, I ate it anyway.

My fridge houses a mango, some limes, plenty of avocado, and some cilantro.  Any idea what I should do with it?

Thanks for reading!

❤ Kaz

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