Good evening!

How are you?

I hope you’re doing better than me, that’s for darned sure.

Okay, I’m fine.  I’m just being dramatic.

You see, my dinner was like, the Black Death incarnate.

It was a promising start to dinner: a delicious, extremely juicy, ripe pear.

Like, if you could take the bubonic plague, and stick it in a blender and whir it up with some gack and ick for good measure, that was my dinner.

And yes, it started with the blender.

On the plus side, this has to have been one of the most sweet, delicious smoothies I had ever made.

I swear, it was pink when I poured it. It changed color on me!

However!

My blender?

I haven’t been unable to unscrew the blade attachment in months, so I’ve just taken to washing it, fully assembled, in the dishwasher.

It works just fine that way, so I didn’t see any reason to wrestle with it.

Fail number two. Yuck.

Well, tonight?  Spontaneously, it decided to loosen up and become unscrewed.

Smoothie (half a honeydew melon, half pound of frozen strawberries, and all the kale and spinach I could stuff in there) went everywhere.

I tightened it enough that I could keep whirring it, but somehow the blades became maladjusted (I found them smoking cigars in the back yard and pitching pennies and playing for keepsies) and would. not. blend.

I wound up chewing my smoothie tonight.  Ewage.

Probably the LEAST appetizing photo was the best tasting mess.

As for the steamed broccoli and green beans with ketchup?

I found an awful surprise on the bottom of my bowl.

Oh!  It wasn’t a bug.  I could handle a bug.  It was even worse.

You ready for this?

I found…water.

Oh hecks no!

This, however, made it all better.

I guess I didn’t drain them as well as I had thought.

I hate, hate, hate soggy vegetables.  That’s why I used to think I hated salads.  They were sodden and limp and gross.

I almost dumped out my veggies, but I wanted — nay, needed — veggies tonight.

Instead, I drained them, patted them dry (for good measure; no water’s gonna spoil my dinner, thank you very much), dropped a slice of Rice pepperjack onto them, nuked it for a minute, and stirred.

There, finally.  Edible.

And, of course, a ramekin of Guittard chocolate chips made it all better.

What is a deal-breaker to keep you from eating your food?  Cold in spots?  Burnt to a crisp?  Finding something…not quite alive in it? I can handle most of that.  I’ve fished grasshopper parts out of my lentils before.  But I cannot, will not, do soggy vegetables.  Yuck.

Thanks for reading!

❤ Kaz

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