Omigosh.

Omigosh!

Wow.  Stop what you’re doing, don’t walk — run — to your kitchen and make this recipe.  Do it now.  I’ll wait.

Back?

Yeah, figured you might actually need the recipe before you could make it.  Sorry ’bout that.

Guys, I’m a genius.  Yesterday, my sister was the genius.  Today, I am.  I think by merely talking to her, I somehow absorbed some of her genius though reverse-osmosis and my brain kick-started and this amazing culinary creation was made.

Actually, today has been a day of winners.  Breakfast was a winner, lunch was a winner, and now this.

Oh, about lunch.  Sorry about that; I didn’t budget my time very well, so I didn’t get an opportunity to post the meal and recipe.  I’ll do it tomorrow, since I can see myself devouring my leftovers then.  Stick around.  You don’t want to miss either of these.

Since I did not properly plan for how long it would take me to prepare myself for work, I actually wound up eating what I had planned for dinner today for lunch.  That meant I had to create a brand new recipe, on the fly, when I came home from work.  And I come home starving.

I was still hungry after eating my lunch.  Since I always get hungry at work, at exactly 2:59 pm I threw some grapes in a baggie and smeared some almond butter and raisins on two sticks of celery and called it snacktime.

Good old ants-on-a-log and some grapes for noshing action.

I snapped this picture at 2:59:30 and was out the door by 3:00.  At least, that’s my excuse as to why I only have one very rubbish image of my snack.  I ate the ants in the car on the way to work (don’t worry, I don’t eat and drive; I had a chauffeur) and the grapes were consumed sometime around five.

Oh, and I had some unpictured trail mix (a handful of raisins, cashews, and one sole raisin) and one and a half chocolate almonds.  The almonds were only meh, and sort of tasted like dirt, so I couldn’t finish it.  Bleh.

Why am I talking about this?  Guys, I had a stroke of pure genius for dinner, and here I am, wasting time talking about stale almonds and a singular raisin.

This. Make this tonight.

Don’t let the pictures fool you.  This isn’t just some amorphous pile of yellow.  You see, I got to thinking, what is it about chickpeas that make them taste so good?  Hummus.  Chickpeas do their best work as hummus, don’t you agree?

This is, like, hummus incarnate.  But with vegetables and quinoa and whole chickpeas added.  Didn’t I already tell you this was genius?

Enough babble.  Shall we?

Begin by prepping your quinoa.  In a small sauce pan, pour in 3/4 cups water and 1/4 cup quinoa.  I actually had used a whole cup of water, but my quinoa turned out soggy.  You live and learn.  Bring your quinoa to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and let cook for thirteen minutes.

Thirteen.  Not twelve, not fourteen.  Thirteen.  It’s my lucky number.

Unless, of course, I add a whole cup of water instead of 3/4, then seventeen becomes my new lucky number.  We became fast friends.

Imagine the amazing hummus taste, but instead with whole chickpeas.

While your quinoa cooks, roughly chop approximately three cups of fresh cauliflower.  Heat up a skillet to medium-high and add in a half tablespoon of olive oil.  Dump the cauliflower into the skillet, cover, and ignore it for a moment.

Don’t worry, you won’t hurt its feelings.  You’ll be coming back to it in a minute, anyway.

Take your kale and tear it into bite-sized pieces.  I used about a cup and a half or so.  You probably don’t want to use too much.  Remember last night?  Yeah, we don’t want a repeat of that.

Don’t add it yet!

Isn't my plate pretty? Yard sale, twenty-five cents. Score!

Let your cauliflower get a nice brown going on, then stir it.  Cover.  Repeat.  You’ll probably want it to cook for two or three minutes between each stir, just to sort of char it up.

Once your cauliflower is nice and brown, add 1/4 cup of water, and slam that lid down.  You’re going to let it steam for about three minutes.

Check your quinoa occasionally, stirring to make sure it doesn’t stick.  Good job.

While your cauliflower is steaming, in a small ramekin, mix together 1 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp coriander (not cilantro!), 1/4 tsp turmeric, and 1 tbs water.

Check your cauliflower.  Is it sort of fork-tender?  Good, then it’s ready.

Every single bite of this was consumed. Yum.

Dump your kale into the pan with the cauliflower, and stir it for about fifteen to twenty seconds, until it wilts down a tiny bit.

Add your sauce.

Stir frequently until your kale is bright green and soft, but not sodden.  Sodden kale is blech.  I blame sodden kale on last night’s dinner fiasco.  Yes, that’s why it failed.  Mm-hmm.

Add in 1/2 cup drained and rinsed chickpeas, 1 tsp lemon juice (all I had was lime, and it tasted just fine) and 1/2 tsp olive oil.  Remove from heat.

The perfect medley of flavors and textures. I'll definitely make this one again!

Plate your quinoa, then pile upon your hummus ensemble.  I took a preemptive taste, and my first impulse was that it was missing something.  Aha!  While I extol a low-sodium diet, this meal needed a dash of salt.  With the party of flavors going on, the salt ramped up the ante and make each individual spice stand out.

I added a pinch, less than 1/8 tsp of salt.  It was worth it.  Trust me on this.

Sit down and enjoy!

Just a note on this meal.  I didn’t have any tahini on hand, but definitely add it if you have it.  Also, as I took bite after glorious bite, I realized I had inadvertently made an Indian-esque curry dish.  If you have coconut milk in your house, add 1/4 to 1/3 cup, to taste.  This meal was a complete accident, but it turned out to be a glorious one.

I kid you not, I'd order this in a restaurant. It was that good!

How about a recipe?

Of course!

Hummus-Flavored Kale and Cauliflower Chickpea Sautee

1.5 cups kale, torn into manageable pieces

2-3 cups cauliflower, roughly chopped

1/4 dry quinoa (you may use brown rice)

1 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp coriander (not cilantro!)

1/4 tsp turmeric

1 tbs water

1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp garlic

1/2 tsp olive oil

1/8 tsp salt

Tahini and coconut milk, to taste

Prepare quinoa.  Sauté cauliflower until dark, then steam in 1/4 cup water for three minutes.  Add kale, stir until tender.  Add sauce made from cumin, coriander, turmeric, and water.  Add chickpeas, lemon juice, and garlic (add tahini and coconut milk at this point, fi desired).  Plate, then add olive oil and salt.

Eat and subsequently feel like you’re in a gourmet restaurant.

Thanks for reading!  I’ll most likely forage up a snack later, but I’ll keep you in the loop.

❤ Kaz

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